I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
