SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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