I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
