I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Randomize
