I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
