My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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