i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
