Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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