I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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