I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
