He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
