Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Those nachos came to me in a dream
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
