Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
