I think I died a long time ago.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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