i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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