you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
pop tarts are not kleenex
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
