It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
