Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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