I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
