it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
