i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
