): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
