i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
