So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
