everyone is single if you try hard enough
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
