walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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