so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize