New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My cat gives me a boner
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
