I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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