he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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