32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
