Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
