I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
