i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
