singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
