Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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