tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize