i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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