and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
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I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
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I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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