respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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