i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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