I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's rum buckets o'clock
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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