I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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