im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
