drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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