I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
