just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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