Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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