you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
