Where did you get a picture of my penis
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Randomize
