Those balls look pretty dangerous.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
