i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize