I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
