he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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