it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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