first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
