i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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