dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
