just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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