Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
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I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
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Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Pooping to opera.
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