u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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