Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
