he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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