White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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