I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
